During my training at Seattle Life Coach Training we talked a lot about how life coaching focuses on the now, not delving into the past or getting too caught up in the future but honoring the exact moment one finds oneself in the coaching or client seat. As a coach and client I can attest that being in the now can really be a challenge especially when feeling emotionally drained.
This month, on a personal level, I’ve wrestled with being in the now. At the beginning June my partner of five years was in a bike v. car accident. There was a hospital stay and he’s been home recovering ever since. Every day is a bit better, we manage to find goodness and support one another trusting that this isn’t permanent.
That said, it has not been easy. I’ve oscillated between exhaustion that has left me in tears on numerous occasions and anger at everyone and everything. As we dealt with the immediate aftermath of the accident, there was nothing to do but be in the now on every level. But as we settled back in at home, to a pretty different daily routine, being in the now evaded me. And that’s when the anger crept in.
Thanks to mindfulness training from years ago I’ve been able to accept and identify the anger for what it is–legit but ultimately nothing. It’s my lack of being in the moment—either I wish something was different that already happened or I want to be able to control what will happen. And here’s the deal—I can’t. But what I can do is choose how I move forward in the very next second with anger, gratitude or love.
And here’s another little secret—I never thought, in a bazillion years, that mindfulness practice would lead me to sounding all bullshit Zen about the now or that it would ultimately always seem to land me smack in the middle of gratitude.
But I can’t lie. It has.
If I’m going to wallow in the now, let it be with gratitude.
I’d like to close this month’s post with a huge dose of gratitude for the help we’ve received this month. From the hospital staff to our respective families and our family of friends, mere words seem inadequate in expressing how much you’ve buoyed us up the last month. Thank you for being a community we could lean on when it came time to lean.